I'm so sick of all this preparation for hate week. It's really starting to bother me that we are encouraging this. Big brother is only brain washing us with every false slogan. He's even got the children singing songs about it. Not to mention all the poster about Big Brother. They make me feel paranoid. I don't know if they're telling the true or not. How am I to know if he is watching me everyday. If he knows what I've done with Julia. What if he's traced my every step. What if he's watching me now. I shouldn't have to live in such misery. I shouldn't have to live in such paranoia just because I want to be happy-just because I want pleasure.
But then I must think to myself...if this is really true, how haven't they caught Julia yet? Maybe it's because she has a connection to the inner party. But isn't that more dangerous? If this is true why haven't they arrested me yet? Why haven't they tortured me yet. Why haven't they killed me yet. If this is true why haven't they made any moves yet.
I think it's better if I just stop thinking about this for now. My thoughts will indeed be the end of me. But i must admit that all of this rambling about hate week and Big Brother makes me want to see Julia even more. I need her to help me release my anger.
But then I must think to myself...if this is really true, how haven't they caught Julia yet? Maybe it's because she has a connection to the inner party. But isn't that more dangerous? If this is true why haven't they arrested me yet? Why haven't they tortured me yet. Why haven't they killed me yet. If this is true why haven't they made any moves yet.
I think it's better if I just stop thinking about this for now. My thoughts will indeed be the end of me. But i must admit that all of this rambling about hate week and Big Brother makes me want to see Julia even more. I need her to help me release my anger.
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